Hey B, your app looks really good overall! However, there is one thing we'd like you to expand on in the personality section before we can accept you into the game.
Your personality section is very conclusive this far, but it also reads a lot like a second history section. While we absolutely understood how the basis of Stiles' personality came to be and appreciate that knowledge, we'd like to see an additional paragraph focused entirely on his personality and shown behaviour in present days - as expected in the game setting, basically. So it would also be good to hear about how he would react to strangers and being away from the home he is so used to.
You have until the 28th to comment your revised personality section here. We look forward to seeing it. Thank you for your application!
Revision Request!
Your personality section is very conclusive this far, but it also reads a lot like a second history section. While we absolutely understood how the basis of Stiles' personality came to be and appreciate that knowledge, we'd like to see an additional paragraph focused entirely on his personality and shown behaviour in present days - as expected in the game setting, basically. So it would also be good to hear about how he would react to strangers and being away from the home he is so used to.
You have until the 28th to comment your revised personality section here. We look forward to seeing it. Thank you for your application!